Final Sentencing.......

I said I would blog about this and I wanted to keep my word on it! I dreaded the sentencing so bad, I must have imagined every bad thing that could happen........after the events that took place after the verdict came out that night, I was scared, (some things I did not disclose on my blog post about the events of that night out of respect, it was an emotional night for all of us) therefore I did not know what to expect on the day of sentencing. One thing I dreaded so bad was having to testify again, I had already testified twice and would testify again at the final sentencing. When I testified at the final sentencing I was free to say whatever I wanted to say, no one was asking me questions it was just my free speech which makes it easier to prepare for in one sense. Here is my speech......"I never thought this day would come, it has taken me by surprise. I have heard of murder's walking free but I never thought that the man that murdered my husband would be free. The life I had gradually re-built to feel safe in (as much as I possibly could) has been torn apart, I feel like my props have been knocked out from under me, I'm still in shock that a jury could have allowed this man to go free. The decision that they made has caused this family such heartache, grief, pain and fear, we are trying to figure out how in the world to go on under these circumstances. I am afraid for the safety of my family and son. Loosing Perry was the worst tragedy we had ever imagined, and seeing his killer be released is almost more that we can bear. He took the life of a 30 year old Husband, Dad, Son, Brother and Friend.....this man should never be free, he stole Perry's life and it's not fair that he gets his back. Perry will never be able to watch his son Tanner grow up, celebrate another anniversary with me or be there for his parents as they grow old. The grief , pain and heartache I have felt these last six years has at times felt unbearable, the pain I have felt the last week and a half has been heart wrenching, I felt Perry was murdered all over again. NO one should ever have to go through what we are going through right now. NO justice has been served. Perry loved life, he was a good hearted guy that could light up a room when he walked in, his laughter was contagious. You stole Tanner's Dad from him and you stole my husband from me. I will believe until the day I die that Perry never had a chance to defend himself that dark cold rainy night on March the 3rd 2008. This tragedy has totally changed our life. Now 6 years after Perry's murder I am still forced to focus on Perry's killer, forced to discuss the killer and the way this tragedy has affected my life. Every court date we faced, the appeal, revisiting the pain over and over again with each event keeping me and my family from the healing process we so much deserve. Now we feel such a hopeless feeling with absolutely no justice served in this case. If it wasn't for my faith in God, I do not see how I would survive this. Count it a privilege to live today because you took Perry's privilege away."
Perry's Dad Dwain also testified and he done a great job. At the end of the sentencing we felt so defeated, there was nothing more we could do this man was going free. Dathan, Tanner and I left the following Sunday and went to Florida to try and clear our minds a bit and also just get away. On Tuesday while we were away I got the call from VINE that he has been released, my body started shaking and I wondered how we could live under these circumstances. Dathan  and I started having dreams about him while we were gone, horrible dreams that he had come to kill, almost any noise at night in the hotel room would send chills over me. I knew I had to fight this or fear was going to take over and control my life, so that is what we done and that is what we are continuing to do now...FIGHT! The Lord has helped us so much! This whole thing has been very hard on Dathan, but he has went through it with dignity, it is like he had to step into another life. He has been a rock for us and I'm not sure I could have handled it as great as he did if I were in his shoes. I try to read Psalm 91 every day because the Lord gave us that scripture and I know I must stand on his word and his promise. We are human and I'm not going to lie and say that we don't ever fear because we do, I am jumpy when I see movement or hear something but it is not ruling my life and I give God the credit for that! So today we are trying to move forward the best we can and live our lives in the most normal way possible. Mr. Jones is now a free man that lives about 20 minutes from us. "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Perry's Dad Dwain on the right and I with  Prosecuting Attorney Mike Stacy at the Final Sentencing