South for a few days!

We decided to leave the area for a few days to try and clear our minds a bit so we headed South. We are enjoying the getaway. I have updated information also from the sentencing and release of Mr. Jones that I will blog about when I get home. For now I am going to stick with something more positive.....here are a few pics from the trip. (I have several more pics with Dathan also but my computer is acting up at the moment and not letting me upload them properly)

World Down Syndrome Day.............

Today was World Down Syndrome Day. I would like to give honor to my son Tanner. The most precious, loving little boy! He makes our world such a wonderful place, he can cheer us up with his smile when we are sad! We love you with all of our hearts Tanner, we would not change you if we could, you are perfect!

Final Sentencing

http://www.wpsdlocal6.com/news/local/Jury-recommends-5-year-sentence-for-Kenneth-Jones-251324911.html

I still trust you Lord................

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFClPbyKgJg
This song has been with me all week........................

Standing on the Promises..............

I have so much I could blog about right now, I've thought about several things I could post about....from extreme frustrations, to anger, fears, and feelings of hopelessness. But I decided that that would not be uplifting to me, nor anyone that might read this blog. I know in times like these that those feelings are normal, but I do not want to dwell there and let them consume me. I also have some awesome things to blog about that the Lord has done for us this week! Before I start with that I do want to say this.....I have no doubt some have wondered why we had a trial 6 years after Perry's murder, I plan to do a story explaining all that and adding a (new page tab) I thought I had the first trial listed in "My Story" but realized that I did not.

Wednesday morning I woke up and felt like I had awoke from a horrible nightmare, unfortunately it was reality. Dathan and I both struggled to even go about the day normally....hardly no appetite, with food left uneaten on our plates. As evening drew closer I seriously considered staying home from church, I felt drained, but missing church is rarely an option for me so I decided to push past my feelings and go, I am so glad I went! God spoke to us the entire service. Our Choir sang "Through It All" which is one of my favorite songs. I have had many tears and sorrow's with questions for tomorrow-times I didn't know right from wrong-but in every situation God gave blessed consolation and my trials only come to make me strong-through it all I've learned to trust in Jesus- I've learned to trust in God! My cousin Scott got up and said he felt like reading Psalm 91, God spoke so strong thru him and it was confirmed to us. God spoke to us so greatly that night in different ways. (I am going to jump back to Monday) A great friend of mine named Kelli sent me a text message Monday morning that said "It looked like it was over on Friday-but Sunday was coming-what looks like defeat can be used as an open door to great victory" She had no idea what was going on, I had not told her. On Tuesday night I said "it's over" but this week when I go to prayer I just start saying "It looked like it was over on Friday-but Sunday is coming" (of course I know the Friday and Sunday was actually referring to the resurrection) but I feel that there is a promise hidden in that somewhere. On Tuesday morning while we were headed to the trial she sent a message that said, "Behind every cloud is sunshine-keep your head up-God has you" later on in the day while we were setting in the court room she sent "God is working" when the verdict was read I wanted to say God what about all the promises?  I knew I could not go there, I've seen God work enough to know that he works in ways that seem so strange to us, his ways are far above our ways.  On Thursday morning while I was praying I came across a song I have never heard by the Collingsworth Family called "It's not to late to pray" while listening to it I felt so strong that God was telling me that it looks hopeless-or so it seems-but its not to late to pray. Sis. Shirley sent me a message that said (you have 2 weeks to seek God-trust Him!) I have no idea what God is going to do but one thing I know for sure is that he has me in the palm of his hand. During the night Thursday night we were awaken out of our sleep by our alarm system, Tanner was in the room with us and the door to our room was locked. Our system was telling us that our living room motion had caused the alarm, I was terrified! We both loaded our guns and I called 911. I was literally shaking uncontrollably. We eventually decided that we should go check it out, I laugh now thinking about us creeping through the house with our guns, only to get in the living room and see a green balloon (from Tanners B-day party) hovering right in front of our motion. We were both like how did this happen to us tonight considering the week we have had, and the fear we have experienced. It scared me so bad and put such a fear in me, I felt like I had been picked up and set down in the life Perry and I lived while living beside that man, we had so many scary things happen to us, and even someone trying to break in through a window in the middle of the night. I told Dathan "I can't live like this again"! On Friday Morning Sharon (Perry's mother) sent me a message that said read Psalms 18:48. This morning Lori one of our church members sent me a message that said read Psalms 18. I immediately thought about the scripture that says (In the mouth of two or three witnesses let every word be established) 2nd Corinthians 13:1. Later in the morning this morning I got a text from two different people at the exact same time and one text confirmed the other text. This evening my sister texted me and said that my niece Kailynne had went home from my house Tuesday night and opened up the Bible to Isaiah 54:14 she told her mom to read it, my sister didn't have to look for it-she opened right up to it. Ok I know that coincidence's do happen, but these things are no coincidence, God is working for me. I believe that I still have some extremely rough days ahead, but I believe that if I will trust in God, he will bring me to the other side of this with victory. I do not know how victory will come.....I honestly thought victory would be the jury finding Jones guilty of murder and putting him away for life. But I know I can't go there, I have to trust. I know this road is going to be somewhat of a rollercoaster ride, it already has been. I am sure there will be days I will post my fears and maybe even worse feelings than that, but I do not plan on letting Satan steal my promises from me, I plan to fight this thing till the end! I could never list all the promises that God has gave me the last 2 1/2 years since this all started again, but I must have 100's of them, it has been amazing at the promises I have received! For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us. 2nd Corinthians 1:20 The definition of Promise is-a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen! I plan to stand on his promises!

Thanks to everyone for the prayers and support, we could feel them. Thanks for all the text message's from all the family and friends from all across the country.  Thanks to the friends that gathered with me tonight to pray in the Court House, I felt strength. Thanks to everyone that came and supported us in the Court Room, the turnout was overwhelming. I know the hard benches along with the stress and long hours were not easy, but you'll stayed with us till the end tonight. Although Mike and Jerry will possibly never read this, incase you do, thank you.....the hugs were genuine, you fought hard for us the last two days......Thank You.

Tonight's sorrow ran a very close race with the night of Perry's murder, I felt like he was murdered all over again. The jury started deliberating at 2:56 pm and came back with the verdict at 9:00 pm. The second deliberation lasted only a few minutes and it was over by 10:00.  We got home between 10:30 and 11:00 tonight . I told Dathan the life I have been able to create and feel safe in has been all turned upside down once again. Mr. Jones (Perry's murderer) will go free in a matter of days. The jury found Jones guilty of Reckless Homicide which carries a one to five year sentence. Mr. Jones has already served that time of which he will get credit for. The final sentencing is March the 20th, 2014, and he most likely will go free that day. I feel like I have 8 days left to feel safe, we lived with the fear of this man for 2 1/2 years......we were afraid he would kill us. On March the 3rd, 2008 he shot Perry in the driveway of OUR home in cold blooded pre-meditated murder. Perry is gone forever, Mr. Jones will go free and be free to commit murder once again. Perry and I lived "watching our backs". Perry never harmed the man neither did I, nor was we poisoning him. He took the life of a man that was 30 years old, he will never get to see his son grow up. I could never describe to anyone the horrible events of the day today, the sorrow, grief, heartache and fear we feel cannot be described. Please remember Perry's Mom, Dad, Brothers and their families, they are suffering deeply tonight as well.

I have learned in times like these just how much our faith can be tested, not that I don't trust in God because I do, it is just so hard to surrender to Him in these trying times. God has gave me promise after promise through this, many promises came through one person that knew nothing about what was going on, over and over I received promises on the very day it was needed so bad, therefore I know God has me in the palm of his hand, I've just got to surrender to that fully and trust in him for my peace and safety.

Thanks to everyone again. Thank you Dathan for being such a huge supporter to me, you are a special gift from God to Tanner and I. He knew how bad we needed you, we love you.

I am going to include some pictures in memory of Perry, at least a couple of these pictures were presented to the jury today.

This picture was presented to the jury today, this picture was taken about 4 months before he passed

Presented to the Jury, taken in September 2007

Trial.............

Trial begins Monday morning at 9:30 at the new Carlisle County Courthouse. We had an overwhelming amount of supporters at the hearings 6 years ago then also at the trial a little over 5 years ago, many days it was standing room only. We know that most people cannot just take off work to come (especially considering the snow will be melted and the weather will be nice) but if anyone can and would like to come we will welcome your faces just as much as we did the last time. My mind was wandering back 6 years ago at the huge amount of people that came to Perry's funeral, even friends and family from several states that came, there was at least a thousand people at the wake. We have had so much support of which we are all so grateful for! I've included a picture that was taken on March 12th 2008 of supporters that packed the court room at the Preliminary Hearing. It's hard to believe we are back here again 6 years later but I know God sees the big picture when I cannot understand, so I am trusting............

I will Remember...........

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carole-brody-fleet/remarriage-after-widowhood_b_3545400.html#es_share_ended

Yesterday "March 3rd" marked 6 years since the tragic death of Perry, the memories of that tragic day are haunting to me. This year the anniversary fell on a Monday, and he was also killed on a Monday....I know this may seem odd but the way it fell this year made me relive those last few days as if I was really re-living them, yet knowing what was to come. I got up Sunday morning to prepare for church and it all hit me. It was pouring rain the day he died... Sunday morning as I was preparing for church it was pouring rain as well, it felt like the sky was weeping. I made it to church and was able to keep my composure, I am normally a private person that tries not to show my feelings.... I didn't want to show up at church crying so I got my composure together. I made it good until the choir got up to sing, they chose to sing (Consider The Lillie's) I love the song but our choir also sang it at Perry's funeral.....I have a good view of the graveyard from the church window which is where Perry and Reagan (Tanner's twin Brother) are buried, between the song and the view of the graveyard I was overtaken with grief, out of the three songs that were sang that morning two of the three were sang at his funeral....although I new it wasn't meant this way I almost felt like it was a memory service for him which gave me some sort of comfort. I rarely ever drive by our house where he was killed at, but I was delivering food to a lady that was our neighbor so I drove the same road I used to drive almost everyday and right past our house, I slowed down and looked at our same mailbox still with our address on it, the long driveway which Perry died on and had an overwhelming amount of memories flood my mind, I then drove past the trailer where Mr. Jones lived (the man that ended Perry's life) I drove on and remembered that stretch of road was Perry's last miles ever driven, he would never even make it inside the house one last time, never turn off his truck or shut his door, someone else would remove his shoes for him....all he was trying to do was get home. My twin Sister and I was reliving some of those memories last night of that horrible night, I will never forget the coroner coming to my in-laws during the night that night and handing me Perry's wet billfold, cell phone and loose change, telling me how sorry he was...I still have that billfold with the same money still inside. Early the next morning I decided I wanted to go home, as we drove up the driveway there set his truck just like he always parked it, it looked like he was home.....I went inside and silence like that has never screamed at me so loud, he had to be there, his old shoes, jacket, blanket were there.....only silence.....the life I knew had ended in one moment.
Monday March 10th, 2014 we will once again go thru another Murder Trial for the man that killed Perry, I will admit I have asked God why, but every answer I get is to hold on victory is coming, so.........I am holding on!
I do thank God for the many blessings He has given to me, I really feel like he has been better to me than anyone "although I know He is no respect of person" but He has been so faithful to me. He blessed me and Tanner with a wonderful guy who loves us unconditionally and is there for us thru it all. I have adopted the song (Through It All) as my song if you could say that, that song really rings true in my life.
                                                                                                                                                                  I shared a link at the top of this blog, please click on it and read it.....I could never have written it any better.....I have been in situations many times that Perry and the tragedy has been brought up and it is like I am totally void from the tragedy or any involvement in Perry's life since I am remarried, that hurts in several different ways.....I wish everyone that I knew could read this story to help them better understand it from my point of view and even tho I am happily remarried does not mean that I have forgotten or never hurt from it........
Chera Guthrie